When people say that by removing the children from the father you are being unfair to the father and also to the kids and hence guilt-trap the mother, it's really hard and difficult for the mother to decide to actually do that, to actually believe that is what her kids need. My mom couldn't, and we didn't have the social environment to do so too. I am messed up as a result and I love my father but I resent him so very much. Honestly, I also resent my mother to some extent for still having that soft corner for my father and the willingness to depend on him inspite of his repeated and still-ongoing bad behavior. I really think he is a good father, but not a good partner. And that's not a blame. That's just who he is. But that shouldn't force my mom to babysit him his entire life too, messing up her own life.
I really think society should grow up and stop thinking of divorce as a punishment for one of spouse, a stigma, a taboo, a bad thing. And instead should start accepting it as a positive thing that can save so many lives.