Said a male colleague of mine about a Muslim friend of his. Why? Because she didn’t like the idea of casual sex without committed relationship or marriage. She is researching and publishing important papers, got two kids, a loving husband who looks after the household and the kids, letting her work far more efficiently and in a worry-free way even after having children. That colleague was saying in a jealous way how he was astounded that the woman keeps on publishing good papers that too in a good amount even after having two kids. He (and also my manager, and almost every male colleague and some young stupid/toxic female colleagues too) are of the mentality that pregnancy should be the ultimatum of a woman’s career. How dare some of them still continue to go on being successful even after that?
He thinks she is conservative? Well, I am of the same mentality as hers too, given our social scenario. Me, whom he thinks to be liberal/modern etc. etc. because I don’t bad-mouth casual sex or divorce etc. Dude, I don’t bad-mouth, because there’s nothing to bad-mouth, those are very normal things, if people are opting for those and doing those responsibly, then why should I badmouth them? Even I wish many women around me just divorce the ass of their husbands, women including your wife.
So, he thought I would approve him, a married man, flirt with me. Well guy, you are not a true liberal. You are a fucking misogynist (story later) and also a big time opportunist. I don’t like dishonest little bitches like you. I don’t like guys who snitch about their wives, in front of their own colleagues, that too, in absence of the wives.
I think that Muslim friend of yours is an achiever. A truly happy and intelligent woman. And I respect her husband for defying the gender-norms and the insults that guys like you throw on such men and still staying strong taking care of the family.
When you told me that guy is a stupid guy ruining his career, and you advised him so many times to stop being a homemaker, start having a paid job outside, and you thought I would agree with you, but instead I enthusiastically expressed, what a gem man he is, and how women like us search for men like that, I promise I didn’t say that deliberately, but nonetheless, I really enjoyed seeing you getting flabbergasted. Later, I asked about that friend of yours once again, when we were chitchatting, and you told me nothing but that she is a freaking conservative weirdo, I was angry, frustrated and started looking down upon you a bit more. I won’t and can’t say that in front of your face, you know almost all my colleagues, you are in a higher position than me, and you would surely bitch about me and ruin my career if I do, but dude, may be try to learn people’s facial expressions? If you do, you would shut the fuck up immediately seeing how me and other people are looking at you for you bs.
And some advice dude? Don’t badmouth your wife in her absence. You told me how she doesn’t have sex with you anymore. Is that something you should broadcast to random colleagues? You told me you married early for your bodily wants and you told us how you were trapped that kid of yours in an early age. Two things dude. I hope your wife knew that you were marrying her with the primary reason of having sex with her. And you have one of the highest education degrees in the world, don’t you know about protection, dude? Or, that day you wanted to have the “real sex” and now blame your wife for the consequence?
You also frequently told other male colleagues how your wife has gone to her mom’s place and then you let them call your wife one of those “irresponsible modern women”. She travelled with you everywhere you fucking went, for your freaking education, for your job, and she created a family around you. What more dude, you have a kid now, isn’t it time to be a grown-up and talk with your wife about any dissatisfactions you have and then together find a way to deal with that instead of bitching about her outside like a fucking loser and trying to get casual sex from other women, specially the unmarried ones?
To tell you the truth, many women like me, would kill to have a partner like your wife, it’s our unattainable dream, given our patriarchal society. But you guys get everything just like that, and take everything and everyone for granted.