Diwali. Durga puja. The married women are not someones' daughters. They will go to the in-laws' and “enjoy” the festival with their husbands and their families. And that’s a very little ask. You are not sent to war. The in-laws are not some demons. You can go to your parents' anytime else, but not in the festivities. And please don’t whine about it, you entitled, little biatch. Don’t create unnecessary drama. You are married now, your husbands' family is your actual family, your parent-in-laws are your actual parents. Don’t you love your husband? Well, then even if you hate going to your in-laws (that is, if at all, you are one of the lucky biatches who got to live separately from their in-laws in the first place), you go there for your husband’s happiness! See, he has a very soft heart, so please don’t bring up your equal treatment and no gender-role expectation feminist shit to him, don’t complicate his life! What did you say? Why doesn’t the same rule apply to him? That if he loves you he will also go to your parents’ with you during Diwali etc.? Why can’t it be at least like you guys will alternate between both sets of parents in alternate years, and when it’s your parents' turn, your in-laws won’t ask you to make an exception and instead visit theirs' just for that year ? Or, at least, you get to go to your parents’ and he goes to his? Why did you even marry? You are not at all a marriage material! You fight for such trivial things, you play with people’s emotions, you know nothing about love, and compromise, and sacrifice!
And it’s not that you won’t have any festivities where you can go to your parents’! There’s bhaiduj, there’s Rakhi. In those, you’ll be needed in your parents’, because your brothers get to live with your parents, even after their marriage, and you will go there to thank your brothers for their protection, to pray for their long lives! What? What did you say? Those are biased festivities? So, you don’t love your brothers? What kind of demonic girl are you? What? What again? Oh so now you think that your brothers should also tie Rakhi and give you Tikka? Hey, I’m not kidding, are you really crazy? Have you cracked your head somewhere? Why are you searching for “equality” even in the cultural festivals? You are just messing up with the culture and the tradition! You don’t respect those! Why are you nitpicking about such minor and trivial cultural gestures? What? What did you say again? If they are so minor, why don’t we grant your wishes? That you are also a part of this culture, this society and you really care about these little meanings, little gestures and you want to just make them unbiased? At least in your own life? See now, I was trying to not go there, but you are being really tenacious and really argumental. You are grown enough, and you should know these qualities are not tolerated in a woman. You are being insufferable sweetheart! Just relax, and let it go! I’m saying this for your own well-being. See it’s a compromise. You celebrate the festivities with your husbands and in-laws, and you avoid being called a feminist or worse, a feminazi. You avoid your in-laws bad-mouthing you and your parents, you avoid people being disgusted by you, you avoid ruining your mental peace.
What did you say? I’m seriously telling you, just stop, drop the matter. Just shut up already, wtf? You say that this kind of treatment is turning one generation of women against the next generation? That your mother-in-law demands his son and his wife (she comes in a package) visit THEIR house in pujas and other occasions because she was also once severed from her natal family in such a way, she was told the same things, and she had a son and now she finds THIS as a society-approved way to get the wholesome thing she craved for all her life? That she also wants her married daughter to be with her in the festival but fails to bring her because of this whole freaking system? That most women from your generation who will have sons will also enforce these same expectations on their future generations of females? You say this is why men from generation after generation are not becoming adult human beings who value others’ feelings, care for others and see the shame, cowardice and injustice in the entitlement society gives them? You are making zero sense and you are being very condescending and entitled yourself. How can you talk about the elders like that? Didn’t your parents teach you respect? What do you say? You don’t intend slightest disrespect and you are just showing this is how gender roles are constructed and maintained in society? Okay feminist, give me a freaking break! What is wrong with these? You are still living and breathing fine in this system, right?We have allowed you to have education, even have a job, and still get married and have babies even if you are this toxic and insufferable, didn’t we? Why are you creating chaos from absolutely nothing? This is why wise people say, feminism is cancer.
You still are talking? What a pain! Oh now you are tearing up a bit too, I can see. Stop this drama, although I’d say now at least you are looking much much less insufferable, and I’m feeling a tad bit sad too. What are you saying? That you don’t want to argue, you don’t want to fight, you just want to enjoy at least some of the festivals with your parents, your siblings, neighbors and friends because they are your parents, friends and family and you are attached to them, they are attached to you. Yeah sweetheart, see, now that you are begging, I now understand a bit. I feel you. But you see, dear, I just have the capability of keeping the system just as it is. So, you go to your parents’, next Diwali (surely (we’ll see)), I’ll make an exception for you, for the next year only. You see? This is how you are supposed to behave. Not by giving logic, not demanding equal treatment, not fighting. But asking sweetly. But don’t tell me that this system is a human construct. That it can be, and should be changed towards equality and equity! Because, let me tell you the open secret. I know all these. These are freaking common sense. I know all these are true. But as I was saying earlier, I have the capability of keeping up my current form, the current social system, and it’s really fun to play this game, so I won’t change. Now, cry me a river!