M
3 min readJan 10, 2024

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My grandmother was married off at 14, continued bearing children for her husband since then, popped out 9 children (or, more, those others ended into pregnancy loss, my father and his family talks about at least one such pregnancy loss)before she at last got to the end of the torment at 42, pushing out her youngest son, my father. And she got to stop not because her husband, my very "respectable" grandfather stopped using her body everyday, but because she got menopause. Nobody told her she was too young for giving birth at 14, nobody told her she was too old to continue tolerating the marital rape or for giving birth, at 42. She had several very serious health problems afterwards because of the torture she tolerated, she had postmenopausal bleeding in her 60s, experienced serious health complications most probably uterine cancer because of which her entire reproductive system had to be removed from her body. And I don’t even want to start with what she got to experience at the hands of these kids, who are supposed to take care of her. Ironically, they always fought with each other all the time about who was to take care of this useless old lady. She died at 84, and finally got to relax (for eternity).

And this is not a gone generation, even in my generation, there are millions of women in my country who are being pushed into this same fate and will pop out at least 3-4 kids until they have at least 1-2 boys, then they might be "permitted" to stop. Many of them will continue giving birth till they have their menopause, i.e., at around their 45th year (the oldest woman giving birth in our country is above 70 years old), but nobody will bat an eye, nobody will call that abnormal.
But all the hell breaks loose when a woman is choosing to delay their pregnancy to their late thirty or early forties, or, not have baby at all. All the "well-wishers" and the self-proclaimed guards of the society will come attack the woman, mock her, call her stupid and irresponsible, feminist and brainwashed. Only then they will bring up all the studies that the old boys-club of scientists conducted on late pregnancy and how it’s risky etc. etc. And instead of finding out ways to make the pregnancy less risky (because it’s not entirely false that late pregnancies are somewhat risky), they will start blaming the culture of individualism and freedom and choice for everyone, specially women.
And then there are some freaking irresponsible women, not thinking about their lives, planning ahead even if they got the very rare chance. They didn’t evwr consider with the rare previlege they got, there also comes the responsibility of being a bit thoughtful. They will take every advantage the society and any freaking ism offers. Be is religion, comminism, capitalism, conservatism and yes, feminism and embellish their lives when they can, with whatever they can. But the moment they can’t do that, they will forget all the benefits those ideologies offered them, or, the people who are protected by those ideologies, and start blaming anything they want to, except for their own short-sightedness, selfishness and complete lack of accountability and gratitude.

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M
M

Written by M

Not the initial for Man/Male. After all, this letter is not only reserved for that. It's the initial of my name, and I am a woman.

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