I am in my twenties now. But when I was 3-4 years old, an uncle would rub his rough cheek with pricky beards on my face. My father/in whomever's lap I used to be then would move away from him and would make slightly annoyed remarks like why do you do such weird things (and he wouldn't dare to do such things when I used to be in my mom's lap, she is so straight-forward 😂 that people don't dare to do weird shit infront of her), later when my cousin brother, 10 years younger to me came to that age, he did that to him too. But nobody called him out for who he was actually, a perverted man.

But that was nowhere close to what one of my elder male cousin did to me at that age. As much as I remember, I used to be weirded out by him, and the time I remember was not the only time he did that. But for that one time only, I remember the time and place.

We were at a relative's house, a family gathering. And he was alone in a room with me and his sister (my closest childhood playmate). He/we bolted the door, we (me and my cousin sister used to do that, we wanted our own space when we played in our own imaginary world). He started and went on sucking my lips, inserted his hands inside my panty and started and kept on kneading my private part. He was 14-15 years old then.

I finally told this to my mother when I was 21 years old. But we can't confront him. We got no damn proof. Wish I had a camera with me, wish I knew that if I become alone with a boy/man, then he got the right to violate my body and I just can blame myself for it. But I couldn't resist the urge to play in my own imaginary world then, instead of staying close to my mother, hence I paid the price. We can't blame the boys, because boys will be boys. We can't demand from the society to teach them humanity, compassion and love.