Hi Natalie, thank you for your encouraging words and support. I really really appreciate it. But sorry I didn't mention the above thing I wrote is my mom's life story (please excuse me if it feels like an emotional betrayal now, it was not my intention) unfolding in front of my eyes, and this is why I can see it so clearly, much clearer than her. She is in this vicious cycle since time before I clearly remember and expects that my dad will become better/ mature. And also, honestly, in my country and in my culture ( I am not from USA), divorce means social suicide. So, although my mom thought of it multiple times, it just isn't a feasible option. And, moreover, now we are trying to live separately from my father, financially and emotionally independent too, in a new place outside the reach of his folks, it's better now. But, she doesn't have a viable career option now, neither can she earn a degree or learn something she wants to, we are trying to find out options, even though those are very very limited, if not totally unavailable.
What's more ironical is my mom is now supporting a new career for my dad, he doesn't have to do anything now other than work towards his dream, but he doesn't extend the same support for my mom. And even in the occasional visits at home, he sometimes create illogical problems and chaos taking away our mental peace. But yeah, at least he is not breathing on us most of the time. Just comes home when he needs some money, then shits on mom because it hurts his prestige to take money from the women of the house, play house for a few days, calls mom "lazy" because for those few days at home, he very kindly cooks lunch for us, which "is mom's duty" apparently, complains about how mom's aged parents should look for jobs and not depend on their daughters for money (he completely unsees him taking money from mom, it seems), and then fu*ks off (or, sometimes starts a drama at home shouting, cursing, alerting the neighbors of his presence, ruining our reputation, and we have to show him out).